Posted by Masked D-Bag #8 on Dec 31, 2009 in
Angry Minute Tis the season of giving 
This Holiday (not christmas, as Holiday is the traditional celebration for all FSMers) I wanted to look back at a year that saw Angry Minute be born. Angry Minute was actually created on Jan 28th 2009 through the Notes Application in Facebook. It was SOOOOOO popular that the website had to be created. Because of this there are actually several AngryMinutes that were NEVER posted on this website.
So with these last 4 weeks of 2009 I want to post the top 4 Angry Minutes that were never posted on this website. MERRY HOLIDAY BASTARDS!!!
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ANGER TOPIC: People who call off work because of bad weather
(originally posted on 01/28/2009; the FIRST AngryMinute EVER!)
I live in Ohio, where if you don’t like the weather all ya need to do is wait five minutes and it’ll change. We have been hit with a recent rash of snow and rain, which causes people to become morons and imbeciles. I could rant about the idiots who drive 5mph on the freeway, or the jerk that is racing 70mph in a school zone… but I have a special place for those who are just plain lazy.
Why in the hell would you EVER call off work for weather? Unless there is a natural disaster (in which case you and your county would be under a warning that would prohibit you from coming to work) there is NO REASON to EVER call off work for weather.
If you called off because it snowed, you are lazy. Period, no exceptions. “But I have personal days” you say. Doesn’t matter, you’re a lazy piece of crap and should be fired for not doing your job. Bad weather isn’t a personal problem, get over yourself. You’re not that important.
I live in Ohio. OHIO! If you call off cuz of weather your not only lazy, but stupid and inconsiderate. You don’t care about your coworkers (who came to work and are picking up your slack) and you sure as hell don’t realize you can MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY STATE! It snows in Ohio, you didn’t know? LOOK OUTSIDE ASSHOLE! That white shit of the floor is what we call “snow” and it happens EVERY YEAR!!! If you can’t take it, get the F out! There are states that don’t have snow, but you know you’d just make another excuse not to show up to work. Cuz your lazy and deserve to be fired and live on the street cuz that is where lazy people should live.
Excuses that are acceptable would be things like your car/girlfriend/boyfriend/friend/family/yourself being sick/dying. Everything else should be PREAPPROVED. If you didn’t get it approve, tough! If I were your boss I’d fire you if you requested a day off and I denied it yet you were “sick” on that day.
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POSTANGER:
If you call off work for weather it boils down to this:
1. You’re lazy
2. You have no respect for your job/coworkers/employer
3. You have no discipline/self-control
Don’t agree with me? Leave a comment. But just know one thing; I’m right, I’m always right.
Tags: Angry Minute, Call Off, Employee, Employer, Ohio, Snow, Weather, Work
Posted by Masked D-Bag #8 on Dec 23, 2009 in
Angry Minute Tis the season of giving
This Holiday (not christmas, as Holiday is the traditional celebration for all FSMers) I wanted to look back at a year that saw Angry Minute be born. Angry Minute was actually created on Jan 28th 2009 through the Notes Application in Facebook. It was SOOOOOO popular that the website had to be created. Because of this there are actually several AngryMinutes that were NEVER posted on this website.
So with these last 4 weeks of 2009 I want to post the top 4 Angry Minutes that were never posted on this website. MERRY HOLIDAY BASTARDS!!!
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ANGER TOPIC: Taking Parental Responsibility
(originally posted on 03/25/2009)
You know what gets under my FRAKIN skin? When parents blame everyone except themselves or their children! Because FSM knows that your brats can’t do anything wrong!
FRAK THAT!!!
Parents love to play the dumb card. They love to say, “I can’t watch my kid all the time”, “My kid’s a good kid”, and “I want to be their friend, not their enemy”. Um… YOU ARE THE PARENT! It IS your job to watch you kid AT ALL TIMES (you are RESPONSIBLE for them after all). Even the best kids do the worst things under pressure, so the kid needs a PARENT to keep them in line and not a friend (kids have plenty of friends, but they are very limited on parents).
Let’s take a look at this with a three prong story edition of THE LIST OF ANGER!!!!!
LIST OF ANGER:
1. Being Their Friend: So I was watching “The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet” yesterday and they did this segment about Spring Break. They had an 18 year-old girl who wanted to go to Mexico for Spring Break, and her parent was actually going to let her! The Government has released a notice telling Americans to STAY AWAY from Mexico for Spring Break because of the kidnappings, murders, and all that FUN AND CRAZY STUFF! But this bubbly blond wanted to go “have fun” without her mommy anyway. I guess that would be fine if the 18 year-old wasn’t saying things like “I want to party with my friends” and “I should be able to make my own decisions”. And the amazing part is the parent was actually leaning towards letting her go EVEN THOUGH the parent works for a lawfirm and has seen first hand what these heathens do during Spring Break. Why is that? Because mommy didn’t want to be the parent, she wanted to be the friend. And I know what you are gonna say; “The chick is 18, she is legal and can do whatever she wants.” NO! NO! NO! She is a senior in high school, and she still lives at home so that makes the PARENT IN CHARGE! Yet the parent doesn’t want to be in charge, they want to be friends. YOU ARE NOT YOUR CHILDS FRIEND!!!! Also, just because your kid is 18 DOES NOT MAKE THEM AN ADULT! (http://www.mandjshow.com/show-recaps/tuesday-march-24-mj-investigates-spring-break/)
2. Taking Responsibility: This is a tragic story. Jessica Logan was a sweet 18 year-old who decided that she wanted to up her game with her boyfriend of a couple months so she took sexy nude photos of herself and sent them to him over the phone. Well, the loving and caring boyfriend forwarded those photos and eventually hundreds of kids in the Cincinnati High School had seen Jessica’s goods. The children then started to taunt her, making fun of her no matter where she was. Jessica was so distressed because of the taunting. They called her a slut, a whore, and probably YOUR MOM. What horrible things to say to a girl who wasn’t a whore… she just wanted a man she had been dating for only a few weeks to view her sexy and luscious body as an object for him to conquer and own. (Um… isn’t that what a whore is???). In any case she couldn’t take it anymore so she took her own life, not thinking of the ones she loved. She did the EXACT SAME THING when she messaged her boyfriend nude cell-phone photos of herself (she was selfish). She was only thinking of herself and how she wanted to get her boyfriend (who she’d only been dating for a month or two) all hot and bothered so they could go roll in the hay (that’s slang for bumpin uglies, horizontal mambo, or even the famous doin’ it). But that isn’t what really bothers me (though it does, and will be an Angry Minute at some point). What ANGERS me is the parents, after all of this, still think THEY DID NOTHING WRONG! Let me quote her mother, Cynthia Logan: “My only baby that I will never be able to touch again. I will never have grandchildren. I will never be able to hand down my heirlooms. I’m just devastated by these parents that allow their children to do and say anything they want.” Um… EXCUSE ME?!?!? You are devastated that these parents let their children do and say whatever they want? Yeah, um… YOU ARE ONE OF THESE PARENTS ASSHAT! You let your daughter do whatever she wanted!!! She posed for nude photos, sent them to a man she’d only been with for a short period, and then killed herself because she didn’t know where to turn. SHE SURE AS HELL DIDN’T TURN TO YOU!!!! Sounds like she did what she wanted. YOU gave her life, YOU gave her the phone, and YOU gave her moral direction. Kids tease, THAT IS PART OF LIFE PEOPLE! If Jessica had been raised to know better she wouldn’t have been in this position in the first place. TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY! I don’t care if you tell me she was a good kid, because PROOF shows us something a bit different. It only takes one moment to turn a good kid bad. ONE FRAKIN MOMENT! (http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20090322/NEWS01/903220312?foo=fee)
3. Punishment: And here is the REAL problem. Parents think that there kids are special and don’t need disciplined. You see it all the time. Think of the kid throwing the tantrum at the grocery store because he wants a candy bar. I’ve seen parents SO LAZY that they don’t want to deal with the embarrassment so they buy the item for their child. WHAT THE FRAK!?!?! Or have you ever been out to dinner and you see that parents dealing with their children who are throwing food, acting like animals? What do these parents do? They calmly say “Now that’s not nice. Don’t throw your food.” YOUR KID NEEDS A GOOD OLD FASION ASS WHOOPIN! When in the FSM’s name did we allow our children to act like heathens? If I even thought about doing something bad I got beat! “But that’s abuse” some may say. No, that is PARENTING! If your kid is a monster it is YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE A BAD PARENT! Now I know there are some cases where this may not be true (some kids are bad, no matter how amazing there parents are) but the majority of these kids are doing whatever the hell they want because no one is giving them a reason not to. If there is no real punishment then what is to stop them from doing whatever they want. You’re kids DO NOT have the right to be out in public annoying me or others. THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! As a child I knew that I was to behave in public, to be on my best behavior. I feared my mother and father (and I still do) but now I’m older I have THANKED THEM for beating me and giving me moral direction. They wanted me to be able to make GOOD CHOICES. They are my PARENTS and they treated me as there CHILD. And I STILL behave myself because even though I’m an adult my mother will still pull my pants down and beat me if I act up. BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME! If you DON’T beat your child YOU ARE A BAD PARENT. PERIOD THE FRAKIN END!
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POSTANGER:
Being Their Friend – There is plenty of time to be their friend once they are grown up and are mature (I say that is around 22-23 years old). You are the parent, not the friend. Kids need a parent and if you don’t be their parent then they will grownup to not know the difference between right and wrong. Be their friend later, be their parent NOW.
Taking Responsibility – It is easy for parents to not blame themselves, but the truth is that it’s your kid and your responsibility. When your kid does something wrong that is your fault. I know kids will be kids and all that junk, but you are the parent. If my dog bit you who would be held responsible? I would, because it is MY dog. It is YOUR kid, so it is your responsibility. Be active with your kids, be involved in what they like, and learn EVERYTHING that they are interested in. If you are not a proactive parent then you aren’t really a good parent.
Punishment – No one wants to spank their kids, but it has to be done. I know I’ll get flak on this, but I’m a firm believer that sometimes physical punishment is needed. There is a time and place for it, but it is needed to raise a good kid. If you don’t use physicality then you are showing weakness to your child, and they will use that to their advantage to get away with whatever they want. Don’t believe me? Yeah, probably cuz you weren’t beat and think you turned out just fine. Delusion is fun isn’t it?
Tags: Angry Minute, Children, Friend, Kids, Parents, Personal Responsibility, Punishment, Responsivility, Spanking
Posted by Masked D-Bag #8 on Dec 16, 2009 in
Angry Minute Tis the season of giving
This Holiday (not christmas, as Holiday is the traditional celebration for all FSMers) I wanted to look back at a year that saw Angry Minute be born. Angry Minute was actually created on Jan 28th 2009 through the Notes Application in Facebook. It was SOOOOOO popular that the website had to be created. Because of this there are actually several AngryMinutes that were NEVER posted on this website.
So with these last 4 weeks of 2009 I want to post the top 4 Angry Minutes that were never posted on this website. MERRY HOLIDAY BASTARDS!!!
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ANGER TOPIC: Using Turn Signals
(originally posted on 04/29/2009)
Is this SOOOOOOOOO hard?!?!?!?! Must be, cuz rejects and retards seem to not understand what that leaver is beside their FRAKIN steering wheel!!!
Here, let me help: ITS CALL A TURN SIGNAL! USE IT, ASSHAT!!!
Man, it ANGERS me sooooooooo bad when I got some retardo infront of me, beside me, hell ANYWHERE on the road, and they decide they DON’T need to use their turn signal! YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW!!! Maybe people just don’t understand the law, so let be bring out my lawyer hat and throw you to THE LIST OF LAW!!!! (please note I live in Ohio but the law is very similar in all 50 States. Also, I am not a lawyer and you should consult one if you are not understanding the laws in your area.)
LIST OF LAW:
1. Ohio Law states that you are to provide an adequate signal for turning atleast 100 feet before making a turn, changing lanes on a multi-lane road, passing a vehicle on a two lane road (by law you are to honk aswell, and you can actually get away with not using the signal as long as you flash your headlights), merging into a stream of traffic, and merging out of a stream of traffic (like taking an exit)
2. Turn signal lights must be visible at a distance of no less than 300 feel in normal sunlight. If they do not work, you are REQUIRED to perform the correct hand signals when performing any of the above turns/merges/etc
3. It is the LAW that you use your turn signal to let other drivers know that you are planning to pull into/out of the stream of traffic. As the driver entering/exiting the highway you are required to yield to motorists already on the freeway; the stream of traffic always has the right of way.
4. It is illegal to drive into the median or crossover if you miss your exit/turn.
Sooooo what does this mean to you? I mean, no one really gets hurt when you don’t use your turn signal… right?
WRONG! FRAKIN WRONG ASSHAT!!! YOU ARE A WRONG STUPID MORON ASSHAT THAT I WANT TO KICK IN THE BALLZ! IN YOUR BALLZ!
A Response Insurance National Driving Habits Survey revealed that 57% of drivers don’t regularly use their signals. I guess they think that it’s cool to just drive wherever the hell they please! FRAK THEM!
Did you know that Unintended Lane Changes have been the direct cause of 23,000 annual fatalities on U.S. roadways? That’s 60 people killed a day just because turn signals were not used!!!!! That is a CRAP way to die people!!!!
In 2007 Ohio had 7,965 crashes caused by Improper Turns and 20,029 crashes caused by Improper Lane Changes. That’s 10.2% of all crashes in 2007!!!! 5,526 of those crashes caused injury, while 130 of them were fatal (that’s 11.2% of all fatal crashes in 2007 caused by not using a turn signal! WTF!!!)
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POSTANGER:
So you see, its not that I’m a Masked D-bag and want to flip out about something, it’s that I’m sick and tired of asshats putting my life and the lives of those I love in danger!
If you change lanes PUT ON YOUR FSM DAMN TURN SIGNAL! I don’t care if you are the only FRAKIN car on the road, you are REQUIRED TO! IT IS THE LAW! Stop putting my life and others in danger cuz you’re too damn lazy to flip a switch. If you’re that frakin lazy then you should be shot and strung up by your private parts till you die a horrible humiliating death cuz you’re worthless to society!!!!
Road rage is typically caused by those who don’t follow the law. Those immaculate people who think the law is below them. The law is not below you! But if you don’t use your turn signal and someone you love dies in a horrific traffic accident DON’T ASK FOR MY SYMPOTHY because I’ll be fresh out. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game! MOOSHOE!!!
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REFERENCES:http://www.ohio4h.org/youth/carteens/documents/CarteensOhioLawsCurriculum.pdf
http://www.signalamerica.org/
http://www.roadandtravel.com/safetyandsecurity/2007/road-rage.htm
http://www.bmv.ohio.gov/pdf_forms/HSY-7607.pdf
http://www.ohiotrafficlawyers.com/traffic-violation-facts.cfm
http://www.publicsafety.ohio.gov/crashes/crash_facts.asp
Tags: Angry Minute, Automobile, Car, Law, Ohio, Traffic, Turn, Turn Signal, Turn Signals, Vehicle
Posted by Masked D-Bag #8 on Dec 9, 2009 in
Angry Minute Tis the season of giving
This Holiday (not christmas, as Holiday is the traditional celebration for all FSMers) I wanted to look back at a year that saw Angry Minute be born. Angry Minute was actually created on Jan 28th 2009 through the Notes Application in Facebook. It was SOOOOOO popular that the website had to be created. Because of this there are actually several AngryMinutes that were NEVER posted on this website.
So with these last 4 weeks of 2009 I want to post the top 4 Angry Minutes that were never posted on this website. MERRY HOLIDAY BASTARDS!!!
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ANGER TOPIC: Male Restroom Behavior
(originally posted on 02/04/2009)
This is something that has boggled my mind for years, and it just amazes me how many times I walk into a public restroom and see the disarray that my fellow man has left it in. I can’t really speak for women as I’ve only been in their restroom a couple of times (though I will say what you ladies do with their “lady products” in the restroom is just disgusting. And BTW ladies, you’re not to flush them!) but since I am a man (a manly man) I am in the men’s side of the commode all the time. Maybe I gots to do a #1, or a #2, but regardless I see issues and problems that brings my blood to a boil!!!
Let’s start with the LIST OF ANGER!
1) Urinal Etiquette – At some point some guy decided that there needed to be this thing called a urinal. Urinals are meant for #1s, while toilets are meant for #2s and in case there are no urinals then AND ONLY THEN should they be used for #1s. BUT some other douche decided “man, I don’t want no dude checkin out my junk” so now there’s this dumb rule that if someone is using a urinal and there is an open urinal right beside that person you are to USE A FRICKEN TOILET?!?! WTF?!?! First off, I’m not homophobic so I’m not afraid of a dude checkin out my package. Heck, let him take a nice good look at the noodle the Flying Spaghetti Monster gave me! It’s these fear mongers who piss me off. Are you afraid to piss beside another man? What is your deal???
2) Pissing in a Toilet – So, since there is this homophobic urinal rule, most men will piss in a toilet even if a urinal is open. This pisses me off in more ways then one. I started a diet recently (to gain weight, not lose it) so I find I’m getting pretty regular with my body. Me and my body have always had a very good relationship, so when it tells me “hey, I got a bun baked in the oven” I make sure to go and make a deposit. But how many times have I walked into the restroom to see no open stalls and TWO open urinals!!! This wouldn’t anger me if two of the people in those stalls weren’t pissin!!!!! How FRICKIN rude! How would you feel if I pinched off a hot steamy loaf right into a urinal?! HUH!!! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?!?! THEN STOP PEEIN WHERE I POO!!!
3) Pissing ON the Toilet – This is totally unacceptable. Sometimes I will get into the restroom and walk into a stall to find either the last person couldn’t muster the strength the lift the toilet seat OR they decided that the toilet seat was some sort of object that needed to be washed their own urine. Either way, if I got to poo I don’t want to sit in someone else’s waste! So then I either have to find ANOTHER stall (if one isn’t being pissed in) OR I have to get down on my knees and pretend I am housekeeping just so my rump doesn’t get violated by a sitting golden puddle! WTF?!?! Can’t people lift the seat (ladies, I feel your pain)!!!
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POSTANGER:
Let’s Have Some Recap Questions;
1) Do you use the public restrooms? Why or Why Not?
2m) Men, are you lifting the seat when you pee in public restrooms?
2w) Women, do you actually sit on the seat or do you do that whole parallel bars thing (also known as “the hover”)? Why or Why Not?
3m) Men, if there is an open urinal but the adjacent urinal is being used do you decide not to piss in the urinal and instead use a stall? Why or Why Not?
3w) Women, what are some Female Restroom Behaviors that piss you off? (literally and figuratively)
I WANT ANSWERS! I want to know who these sick freaks are! I’m calling you out! Because here is how I see it;
A) If you can’t piss beside another guy, you’re homophobic!
B) If you piss on the toilet seat you’re selfish and I want to come to your house so I can piss all over your toilet seat AND in your sink!
PROVE ME WRONG or PROVE ME RIGHT! Because as I see it, I’m right until you can prove me wrong. But I don’t see how that will happen here. LET’S SEE THOSE COMMENTS! MOOSHOE!!!!
Tags: Angry Minute, Behavior, Piss, Poop, Restroom, Retro, Shit, Toilet, Urinal, Urine
Posted by Masked D-Bag #8 on Dec 2, 2009 in
Angry Minute Why do people want to play God? It’s funny cuz people are always bitching and complaining that “we shouldn’t play God,” yet they do it ALL THE FRAKIN TIME!
From the moment you are born people are playing with your life. Hell, even the ability to CREATE life is a form of “playing God”.
So the first thing I want to get out of my ANGRY way is this whole concept of “playing God”. Look, something created us, but we have no idea why it created us or even how it created us. All I know is that I am here, now, and I’m gonna make the most of what I have. And when it’s all done and it’s time for me to die then I say BRING IT ON. I’m not scared to die, actually I WANT to die (not right now people, when I’m old and gray and can’t move). Death is a part of life, and without death life would have less meaning.
People say that allowing someone to die, EVEN IF THEY WANT TO, is “playing God” and we shouldn’t have that ability. WHAT THE FRAK?!?! If we can CREATE life then we surly can REMOVE life, atleast that is what I believe (murder is a sin though, but if you want to die then you should be allowed). And this belief could be constituted as a “religious belief”, so in my RELIGIOUS opinion my God (who is a Flying Spaghetti Monster) is OK with a person wanting to die if that person hasn’t the ability to live a full and fruitful life anymore (if you can live a full life still though killing yourself is a sin, IMO). That should be MY CHOICE as it is my BELIEF.
Yet there are those who press their religious beliefs upon others. There are those who persecute MY beliefs because I do not believe what the have come to believe.
In Pastafarian it is a belief to NOT persecute others for their religious beliefs. Pastafarians believe that as long as you are a good person you will be judged by the FSM and if found to be good will be with him in heaven, where there are beer volcanoes and striper factories. It’s a beautiful place and I hope to see you all there. But when others OPPRESS another’s religious, or even moral beliefs, well then we gots us a problem!
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/catholic-church-orders-feeding-tubes-vegetative-state-cases/story?id=9168641
Here is an interesting article from those wacky Catholics. I use to be Catholic, but when my priest told me that one of my best friends (who is a Jehovah’s Witness) would BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY because he didn’t believe what I believed, I sortof stopped listening to their crazy ramblings. To believe a good person who doesn’t think like I do would burn just because he doesn’t do what my church says… well that is just silly and stupid. And I have MANY Catholic friends WHO AGREE WITH ME. So I don’t feel bad making fun of the Catholics, as they are a funny lot.
So back to the article, which circumvents our “right to die”. See the Catholic Church is REQUIRING that even if a person has written wish to NOT be placed on feeding tubes and live as a vegetable, the church with place them on said feeding tubes as they have a RELIGIOUS RIGHT to keep them alive.
What smug ass mother frakers!
Catholics, WHO IN THE BLUE HELL gave you the right to decide what I want? It is my life, my choice, my death, MY RIGHT! I want to make it clear TO EVERYONE that my wish is that if I am in a Persistent Vegetative State then PULL THE PLUG! I’m fine with dying, I really truly am. I don’t want to live like a veggie! Then I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered so that my remains might return to the Earth and give life to others. THAT IS MY WISH, THAT IS MY BELIEF!
Catholics, I don’t believe what you believe and I hope to the FSM above that I am NEVER taken to one of your hospitals. If I am I ask my mother, my girlfriend, and everyone I love to MOVE ME OUT OF THAT FACILITY! I will NOT allow another to make the decisions I have made for myself!
This is my right, this is my belief, this is my choice.
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POSTANGER:
What do you believe? Do you think we should keep a person alive regardless of what they want? Should we bind them to mechanical apparatuses and pump a few more years of pain and suffering into their lives? Or should we allow people to end their lives when they are ready and willing to accept death? Leave a comment below and let us know, I’m very interested in knowing how you feel about this “sensitive” subject.
Tags: Angry Minute, Belief, Catholic, Death, Dying, Feeding Tube, FSM, God, Hell, PVS