ANGRY MINUTE #0022: Reliving Angry Minute History (1 of 4)
Tis the season of giving 
This Holiday (not christmas, as Holiday is the traditional celebration for all FSMers) I wanted to look back at a year that saw Angry Minute be born. Angry Minute was actually created on Jan 28th 2009 through the Notes Application in Facebook. It was SOOOOOO popular that the website had to be created. Because of this there are actually several AngryMinutes that were NEVER posted on this website.
So with these last 4 weeks of 2009 I want to post the top 4 Angry Minutes that were never posted on this website. MERRY HOLIDAY BASTARDS!!!
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ANGER TOPIC: Male Restroom Behavior
(originally posted on 02/04/2009)
This is something that has boggled my mind for years, and it just amazes me how many times I walk into a public restroom and see the disarray that my fellow man has left it in. I can’t really speak for women as I’ve only been in their restroom a couple of times (though I will say what you ladies do with their “lady products” in the restroom is just disgusting. And BTW ladies, you’re not to flush them!) but since I am a man (a manly man) I am in the men’s side of the commode all the time. Maybe I gots to do a #1, or a #2, but regardless I see issues and problems that brings my blood to a boil!!!
Let’s start with the LIST OF ANGER!
1) Urinal Etiquette – At some point some guy decided that there needed to be this thing called a urinal. Urinals are meant for #1s, while toilets are meant for #2s and in case there are no urinals then AND ONLY THEN should they be used for #1s. BUT some other douche decided “man, I don’t want no dude checkin out my junk” so now there’s this dumb rule that if someone is using a urinal and there is an open urinal right beside that person you are to USE A FRICKEN TOILET?!?! WTF?!?! First off, I’m not homophobic so I’m not afraid of a dude checkin out my package. Heck, let him take a nice good look at the noodle the Flying Spaghetti Monster gave me! It’s these fear mongers who piss me off. Are you afraid to piss beside another man? What is your deal???
2) Pissing in a Toilet – So, since there is this homophobic urinal rule, most men will piss in a toilet even if a urinal is open. This pisses me off in more ways then one. I started a diet recently (to gain weight, not lose it) so I find I’m getting pretty regular with my body. Me and my body have always had a very good relationship, so when it tells me “hey, I got a bun baked in the oven” I make sure to go and make a deposit. But how many times have I walked into the restroom to see no open stalls and TWO open urinals!!! This wouldn’t anger me if two of the people in those stalls weren’t pissin!!!!! How FRICKIN rude! How would you feel if I pinched off a hot steamy loaf right into a urinal?! HUH!!! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?!?! THEN STOP PEEIN WHERE I POO!!!
3) Pissing ON the Toilet – This is totally unacceptable. Sometimes I will get into the restroom and walk into a stall to find either the last person couldn’t muster the strength the lift the toilet seat OR they decided that the toilet seat was some sort of object that needed to be washed their own urine. Either way, if I got to poo I don’t want to sit in someone else’s waste! So then I either have to find ANOTHER stall (if one isn’t being pissed in) OR I have to get down on my knees and pretend I am housekeeping just so my rump doesn’t get violated by a sitting golden puddle! WTF?!?! Can’t people lift the seat (ladies, I feel your pain)!!!
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POSTANGER:
Let’s Have Some Recap Questions;
1) Do you use the public restrooms? Why or Why Not?
2m) Men, are you lifting the seat when you pee in public restrooms?
2w) Women, do you actually sit on the seat or do you do that whole parallel bars thing (also known as “the hover”)? Why or Why Not?
3m) Men, if there is an open urinal but the adjacent urinal is being used do you decide not to piss in the urinal and instead use a stall? Why or Why Not?
3w) Women, what are some Female Restroom Behaviors that piss you off? (literally and figuratively)
I WANT ANSWERS! I want to know who these sick freaks are! I’m calling you out! Because here is how I see it;
A) If you can’t piss beside another guy, you’re homophobic!
B) If you piss on the toilet seat you’re selfish and I want to come to your house so I can piss all over your toilet seat AND in your sink!
PROVE ME WRONG or PROVE ME RIGHT! Because as I see it, I’m right until you can prove me wrong. But I don’t see how that will happen here. LET’S SEE THOSE COMMENTS! MOOSHOE!!!!