ANGRY MINUTE #0004: Popup Commercials
You know what Grinds my Gears (yeah, how long you been waiting for me to pull out THAT Family Guy line out)? Commercials! PISSES ME OFF!
I’m not talking about your “normal” commercials. I own a DVR (like any sane person) so normal commercials don’t bother me. To be honest I’ll actually tolerate “normal” commercials, even if a show is recorded. Why the hell would I do that? Because I enjoy having CONVERSATIONS with my fellow friends, and commercials are the ideal time to do such.
So for the record; “normal” commercials are fine and do not anger me. They may anger you, but that’s cuz you’re a prick and have no friends.
What boils my blood are the “new” types of commercials
I’ll turn my TV to one of my favorite shows, Attach of the Show (only on G4). Never seen it? You’re a moron! This show is the best show PERIOD (well, for my generation anyway)! Not to mention it has the hottest of the hot with Olivia Munn (aka: cover of this month’s Playboy: http://www.imagebam.com/image/ae9d0239546182. aka: the Future Mrs. Masked Douchebag #8). Mmmmm, I love me some Olivia Munn. Don’t worry my douchebag of a girlfriend knows that Munn is on my top 5 so it’s all fair game people! DEAL WITH MY LOVE!
Anyway, I’ll be lookin at Olivia’s hotness, imagining all the things (dirty douchebaggery things) I would do to her, and then… BAMO KABAMO!!!! Out of nowhere the Starship Enterprise rips a hole in the space-time continuum at Warp 9, crushing through the bottom left of my overly-sized television, sending photo torpedoes right into my beloved Olivia’s face! OH MY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER! WHAT THE FRAK HAVE THEY DONE!?!?!? WHY HAVE THEY MURDERED THE ONLY TELEVISION HOST I COULD SEE ME “DOING” WITHOUT BEING LABELED AS MANLOVER?!?!?!? (Kevin Pereira is hot piece of man-meat, deal with it!)
Never fear cruel world; Olivia does not die from Picard’s cowardly attack. This is only the NEW version of commercials. Not content with Joe 5-pack having to spend one-third of a television show watching advertisements, dickwads and cuntfaces alike have decided to place ads WITHIN the shows themselves!
COME THE FRAK ON!!!
Why is this happening? When I’m watching a show I want to see THAT show, I don’t want to know what is coming on next! If I cared what was coming on later I would pick up a TV Guide (do they even still make these… I should have said Google).
Now I know what many of you are going to say; “but they need the ad revenue because people don’t watch commercials”. My response is that WE NEVER WATCHED THEM ANYWAY! When a commercial comes on I go drain the main vein, gab another Coors (cuz Bud doesn’t pay me enough), and maybe JUST MAYBE make fun of YOUR MOTHER (Hi Jeff’s mom)!!!!! But I hardly ever WATCH a commercial. Do you? Why? Unless it’s the SuperBowl there is NO REASON to see a commercial (the only exceptions to this rule are boobs and funny)!!!!
But I’m a fair Douchebag, I know people need to be paid (FSM knows I do). So let’s compromise and take note from Video Games and start using products/ads INSIDE the entertainment. I’m not talking about having John Cena FU Randy Orton through my television while I’m watching an all new episode of Psych (New episodes start Aug 7th at 10pm EST only on USA… Characters Welcome), I’m talking about actually USING the product in the show. Have Chuck Bartowski share a nice Five Dollar Footlong with Casey (Chuck, returning with new episodes in 2010 because IT IS AWESOME), or even have a Butterfinger Machine installed in the Simpson’s House. I don’t give a flying FRAK how you insert a product, just stop these POPUP COMMERCIALS!!!
PLEASE!
PLEASE STOP THE MADDNESS!!!!!
THE MADDDDDDDNESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
IT’S PISSING ME OFF! ANGER! ANGER! ANGERRRRRRR!!!!!
I have actually seen a show (the new 90210…don’t make fun of me!) that placed the product directly into the show. They were promoting Dr. Pepper…and it was absolutely ridiculous. The camera zoomed in on the character drinking the Dr. Pepper…at another point in the episode it actually zoomed in on the cooler holding all the Dr. Pepper. Doing the was completely irrelevant and took away from the show. To me, it was even more annoying. Granted, they could be A LOT more subtle with product placement and make it flow with the show and still get the point across.
In conclusion, I don’t like the pop-up commercials at the bottom of the screen…but I think it’s still better than what I’ve seen of products being placed directly in the show.
It’s quite simple, Raj… Refuse to watch any network that does that, and make sure they know it.
I will say this is the worst angry minute yet. As you say people need to get paid and commercials is what does this. If it was not for you DVR and mine this would not be happening as much. People use to watch commercials other wise how would they know about a some products. Now people fast forward by them and advertisement needs a new way to get to the people. As fare as product placement. Not all products can place their product into a TV show.
Sorry I am just not with you on this one. My angry minute would be about people like you who complain about what needs to be done to pay for shows like Attack of the Show to be on the air.
@Heath Gray – If a product cannot be placed into a show then it shouldn’t promote the show IMO. If you’re targeting a demographic then it is easy for you to place a product for said demographic in that show. Just like Katie said about with Dr. Pepper. How easy is it to have someone drink a pop, eat a Subway sub, play a video game, hype a movie, or even drive a car? Not hard at all.
I know people need to get paid, but these pop-up ads are not progress at all. We are slowly giving up our rights as TV watchers. I mean I was cool with the little ads in the corner, but now these ads have animation AND sound?!?! You can’t tell me that isnt’ annoying. And how the hell does that make me WANT to buy said product? It doesn’t, it just pisses me off as it does many consumers.
These ads are only get worse too. They use to take up a small fraction of the screen; now they can be 1/3 the size of the show!!! Insanity is what it is, and I can’t take it. That’s the reason I download AotS, as it doesn’t have these pointless ads.
And the way I find out about products is from word-of-mouth. Its the best way to learn what is good and what isn’t. A commerical will always tell me said product is good. They lie.
@Griff – I’m known to not ‘pay’ for those networks. G4 has a great downloadable section so I’ve cut them from my cable. They are the worst, but other networks are starting to adopt. Guess I’ll just use Hulu and other sites more as they don’t use this annoying tech.
@Katie – Was Will watching 90210? That would explain alot…
Yea they can always add product placement. I cant wait to see Pam use maxi-pads on the office or see them drink a Pepsi in every single show. You cant place ads in every show, but you can put commercials in every show. It just does not reasonable to have product place ment in every show.
@Heath Gray – Pam could have the Maxi-Pads on her desk. LOL, I’m sorry but I could see The Office having a whole show devoted to Pam and Maxi-Pads. That would be a messed up episode, but something I could see them doing.
I guess Video Games and Sporting Events use “in show/game” advertising better. I’m hoping TV finds a way before it begins to resemble the internet (and if so can I get a popup blocker on my TV?)