ANGRY MINUTE #0019: Thanks for Calling Tech Support

I am a people person (yeah with all this anger I bet you could tell) so I’ve always enjoyed the work I do for multiple tech support Help Desks. Yeah, I’m that guy at the 1-800 number telling you how to fix your TV, Computer, Phone, or whatever your Help Desk helps with. But customers are stupid and piss me off. Here are some of the top sheet that piss me off when people call into a Help Desk:

1. May I Ask Who’s Calling: This is the very first question a tech support, help desk, or anyone who works for a call center has to ask the customer. Do you know why? Because WE NEED TO PULL UP YOUR FRAKIN INFORMATION!!! But some ARSEHOLES don’t reply to this question! HOW FRAKIN RUDE! It usually goes like this: 

Masked D-Bag #8: Thanks for calling Tech Support, this is Masked D-Bag #8. May I get your name please?
Customer: Yeah my thing is broken!
Masked D-Bag #8: OK sir, let me look at your account. And whom am I speaking with?
Customer: Why can’t you guys keep this shit working?! I have to call in all the time and all you do is… <enter ranting here>

Can you see how FRUSTRATING a caller like this can be?! And the worst thing is that person is ONLY HURTING THEMSELVES! If I can’t look you up I can’t help you, plain and simple.

2. Customer Places Me On Hold: OK, so you called in to get your TV or Internet fixed and you got me. Cool, I’m more then happy to help you. But then there is a knock on your door and you need to see who it is. Still cool, go ahead and place me on hold and see who it is… BUT DON’T LEAVE ME ON HOLD FOR FRAKIN 15 MINUTES!!!! Most call centers actually have a rule that if you leave the tech on hold for longer then 5min they can disconnect, so don’t get all prissy when you return and no one is there. IT’S YOUR FAULT, NOT OURS!!!!

3. Cellphone Answering: You called me for help, yet you KEEP ANSWERING YOUR DAMN CELLPHONE! And it makes me laugh when people do this just to tell the person on the other end, “I’m on the phone with tech support, I’ll call you right back.” ISN’T THAT WHY WE HAVE VOICEMAIL?!?! WHAT THE FRAK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!! Get over yourself, you are NOT that important and if you were you’d have a dedicated I.T. guy fixing your problem instead of calling me!

4. Tantrum Children: If I bothered my mother when she was on the phone I got an ass beating! But now parents have NO control of their children! So all I hear in the background is “WAAAHHHHHHHH” and “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!!” SHUT UP! You’re kids are MONSTERS! And then these parents get pissy with ME because I can’t hear them?! WHAT THE FRAK?!?!?!

5. Getting Personal: Look, I’ll take a lot of punishment on the phone. You can cuss, you can be mad, you can yell… but NEVER get personal with ME! It isn’t MY fault your shit doesn’t work, I just work here and am at the mercy of technology. But when you say my mother raised a janitor, or that I’m worthless and stupid then we are GONNA RUMBLE! You don’t know me, so don’t pretend you do! Let me do my job, and if you’re not down with that I go two words for ya: FRAK YOU!

6. You Called Me For Help, Let ME Help: And then there is “Mr. I’m a Rocket Scientist so I know sooooo much more then you do” person. This fraker calls ME for help, and then proceeds to tell ME that everything I’m trying to do is either WRONG or that HE ALREADY DID THAT! I don’t CARE if you already did it, I have RULES and QAs that require I perform X amount of troubleshooting. You WILL do what I say or else you can call back and get a different person who will TELL YOU THE SAME THING! Also you’re an ASS and if you know so FRAKIN much why do you need to call ME for help anyway?!?!

========================

POSTANGER:

Do YOU have an interesting story about calling/working for a call center? Leave a comment! HOLLA!!!

Tags: Angry Minute, Call Center, Calls, Cellphone, Customers, Help Desk, Phone, Telephone