ANGRY MINUTE #0015: Halloween Pisses Me Off (Part 2 of 4)
Tis the days of October, and all through the house, candy wrappers as crumbed, all upon the couch. Our costumes are hung in the closet with care, as soon we’ll be at a Halloween party all ready to scare!
Yeah I’m a poet, deal with it!
So welcome back to part 2 of this 4 part series on how the great holiday of Halloween has become nothing more then bullshit wrapped in more bullshit! Today I’d like to sit the kiddies down and talk about a night that at one point rivaled almost all other holidays (with the exception of Christmas, cuz expensive presents are awesome and beat candy any day of the week). But now Halloween has become some sort of joke, and I just don’t get it.
Let talk about Beggar’s Night. Do you remember Beggar’s Night as a child? It was the time during HALLOWEEN where you’d go out in costume, walking from door to door and declaring “Trick-or-Treat”! The households would fill you’re bag with sweet splendors and you’d reply with an honest “Thank You” before marching towards the next targeted home. This would continue for about 2 hours as Beggar’s Night had a time limit (cuz lets face it, some of these asshats would be Trick-or-Treating all night if we didn’t). You’d then go home at the end, where mommy and daddy would “inspect” you bag for pieces that could contain razorblades or poison (and for their trouble mommy and daddy would pick out a few pieces for themselves, a little payment for your safety). Then you’d gorge on sweets for the rest of the night, tucking whatever you didn’t devour away (sometimes hoarding your loot up until Christmas… maybe even longer!).
Now THAT was Beggar’s Night!
First off let’s dissect what the frak is wrong with Beggar’s Night! Hell, even the name is jackshit anymore! Beggar’s NIGHT??? Yeah, more like Beggar’s DAY as most communities stop the begging once the SUN GOES DOWN! Isn’t the whole point of HALLOWEEN to be scary and creepy and dark and NIGHT?!?! Oh that’s right Beggar’s night ISN’T EVEN ON HALLOWEEN ANYMORE! This is TOTAL BULL FRAKING SHIT! Why? WHY aren’t we celebrating the holiday ON THE HOLIDAY?!?! Most communities celebrate Halloween on the Thursday or even Wednesday BEFORE Halloween. WHY? I don’t understand!!! I mean I guess I understand the “trick-or-treat in daylight” bullshit because we need to keep the kids safe (but if their parents cared they’d go with them, but that’s right mommy and daddy are lazy and stupid and don’t bother taking any interest in their child’s life). But why WHY ON EARTH are we not celebrating on Halloween?! Is it for SAFETY? HOW THE FRAK DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?!?!
If we started celebrating Christmas on a day other then Dec 25th people would FREAK OUT! Same for Easter and Thanksgiving! So why is Halloween different?
Some say Beggar’s Night should be on a different night then Halloween because “other activities” that happen (like Friday Night High School Football Games, Keggers, and other fall sports/activities). I say BS! If Christmas was celebrated in September we would still celebrate it ON the holiday. Because Halloween only has loose religious roots no one defends the holiday, where as religious holidays (like Christmas) NEED to be celebrated on that day… though Jesus was NOT born on December 25th so why the hell is it sooooo important that Christmas fall on that specific day? MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!
And let’s just dip our toes into the fact that some cities are BANNING Beggar’s Night! BANNING IT for the “safety” of the children. Look, if you are a parent and worried about your kids safety YOU SHOULD GO WITH THEM AND PROTECT THEM! Don’t have time? DON’T HAVE TIME?!?! FOR YOUR OWN CHILD?!?! Now THAT should be a crime!
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POSTANGER:
What are your feelings on Beggar’s Night? Is it harmless fun for the community, or a sinister eve of destruction? What memories do you have from Trick-or-Treat? The comments are below, and we are always wondering how this makes YOU feel. Till next time, OWWWWWWWW!