ANGRY MINUTE #0041: Bull & Shit Network
What the FRAK is wrong with the world? It must be that I am getting old and bitter because some of this shit makes no sense to me WHAT SO EVER!
Don’t you remember a simple time when people said what they meant? If I told you I was watching MUSIC TELEVISION then you assumed I was watching something/anything about music. But now when you watch MUSIC TELEVISION (aka MTV) you get shitty shit like “The Hills”, “16 & Pregnant”, “Disaster Date”, and “Jersey Shore”. None of this CRAP (and it is crap) has anything to do with MUSIC. So what the FRAK does MTV stand for? Atleast when I was growing up the shows that had nothing to do with Music tried to incorporate Music into their shows in some way (aka Beavis & Butthead).
Hell MTV peeps are such assmasters that they recognized that they wanted to play shit (and it is shit) that wasn’t music, so they made MTV2 with the slogan, “All Music All The Time”. Yeah maybe it should have said, “All Music Just Some Of the Time Because We Want Your Pregnant Teenagers Watching Us 24/7”. WHAT A FRAKING JOKE!
So you can see how PLEASED (aka PISSED OFF) I was when I flipped my TV over to Cartoon Network the other day and noticed something I didn’t expect. You see I turned my TV to Cartoon Network because I wanted to see (I know this will be a shock to all of you) some FRAKIN CARTOONS. Is that soooooo much to ask from a television network NAMED Cartoon Network?
Atleast when SciFi Network changed its format to display non-SciFi shows it changed its name to SyFy; but Cartoon Network has such enormous balls they can claim to be a network about cartoons and then show reality! WHAT THE FRAK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!?!?!
Can I sue for false advertising? I mean if you say you are gonna give me cartoons and then I tune in to see some pre-teen bullshit isn’t that deceptive advertising? Bait and switch? It’s Bull and Shit is what it is!
I feel for Cartoon Network, I mean they started off amazing with shows like “Space Ghost Coast to Coast”, “Dexter’s Laboratory”, “Johnny Bravo”, “Cow and Chicken”, “I Am Weasel”, “The Powerpuff Girls”, “Ed, Edd, & Eddy”, “Courage the Cowardly Dog”, “Samurai Jack”, “Grim and Evil”, “The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy”, “Camp Lazlo”, and “My Gym Partner’s A Monkey”. These cartoons are all AWESOME and WERE what Cartoon Network WAS all about.
So now what do we get in place of cartoons? We get “Destroy Build Destroy” which is a preteen Human Wrecking Balls; “Dude, What Would Happen” which is a preteen Mythbusters; “The Outsiders” which is a preteen Ghost Hunters; “Survive This” which is a preteen Survivorman; “BrainRush” which is a preteen Cash Cab. See a pattern? That’s right, Cartoon Network should now be named “PreTeen RipOff Network” because all of this SHIT is shit we already have but now it is smothered in PreTeen BullShit!!!!!! WHAT FRAKIN FUN!!!
Cartoon Network, you are DEAD to me. You have totally alienated everyone other then your PreTeen market. You have jumped the shark and now you are fighting to stay alive because all your content for the past few years has been garbage. Nickelodeon has made a grand comeback and has sooooo many better cartoons then the current Cartoon Network cartoons and Nick doesn’t even specialize in cartoons (just look at Nick greats like “Back at the Barnyard”, “Fanboy & Chum Chum”, “SpongeBob SquarePants”, “The Fairly OddParents”, and “The Penguins of Madagascar” for some amazing examples). Nick doesn’t have to LIE TO ME about what kind of network they are, so FRAK YOU CN AND FRAK YOUR LIES!!!!!!!
So I am DONE with Cartoon Network. You are obviously not a network for anyone over the age of 13. Go play with yourselves because I won’t watch your SHIT! FRAK OFF LIARS!
